Who do you Trust?


A simple word and yet the concept around it can vary wildly. Regarding a relationship, for example. At one end of the scale, it can help to cement the relationship to a point of indestructability. Yet, at the other end, it can leave potentially permanent and irreparable damage. I find it strange that it can take years to build and just a moment to break it. How can something be so strong and yet so fragile? What does it mean to really trust someone or something?

My first car.

Yes, I am going there. It was awesome! A Morris minor (an old British car made in the 50’s and 60’s) It could get up to 60 mph and that took 50 plus seconds. A tad quicker if you had a downhill stretch. It had the worst heater in the world. The windows were wind up and down and let more air in than the vents. Soggy seats and even soggier suspension. But the best thing about it was that it had a crank handle, to start the car. If it was a cold, frosty morning or the battery was flat. It never let me down, ever.

I totally trusted that car.

My best friend.

We have been through a lot together. Best man at each other’s wedding, watched our kids grow and play together. Helped each other through a divorce. (Both of us but at different times)

There is a security in knowing that this guy has my back. I can call him day and night and he will always be there for me. And of course, vice versa.

I trust him implicitly.

However, if we arrange any kind of date, for lunch or for dinner, a bar-b-que or a birthday bash, or whatever. He is always late! In fact, I will resort to telling him the ‘thing’ starts an hour before it does, just to get him there on time.

I absolutely trust in his lateness.

My ‘effing’ camper!

Having made the plans to explore our home country. My wife and I decided that a camper (motorhome), would be a more flexible option than guest houses and hotels. We looked at some different options and finally made our choice to have a company fit a bespoke conversion to a 3.5 tonne Van. The day arrived and we turned up, paid the balance and set off down the road on our new adventure. We were so excited! Until an hour down the road the engine management kicked in and the engine went into ‘limp mode’. It took about 4 months and an awful lot more ‘breakdowns’ and unnecessarily lengthy journeys until the van was finally fixed.

I sold it a week later.

My trust in it was destroyed.

My professional relationships.

As with my previous examples, they are/were all a relationship. So, when we are working, how can we use trust to help build a better working relationship. First, you need to be able to trust yourself. I mean trust in your abilities, your knowledge and even your instincts. When we are in flow, we never doubt ourselves. Second, in my experience, showing your ability to be trusted by others, can be achieved in small ways. Turning up on time. Always coming good on your word. Showing your willingness to be supportive of your staff or teammates when they are genuinely struggling, rather than berating them.

Most of all, owning your mistakes and not being afraid of letting people see that you have made them. Being honest about your weakness’s and getting help from those around you where you need it. To conclude I would say that most of all, remember to be consistent and take time to build trust within yourself and those around you.

P.S. Trust can be the commodity to build the foundation of something magnificent and without it, the wrecking ball to tear it all down. Trust me, I’ve seen and done both.